In modern society everyone is on a search regardless of the subject of matter, there is always a search going on, which brings everyone forward.
You can find people searching for love, fortune, the perfect job, new stuff they want to buy, the inner peace, happiness or even themselves.
I was pretty much my whole life living in the impression that life is about the searching for a beautiful woman, who would like to have a family with me a nice job which can bring food on the table and a roof over our heads which will make us feel good and secure.
The more I searched for the woman of my life, the harder I hit the ground of reality again and again to find myself in a deeper low than the one before. Trying to avoid my previous mistakes I was getting up and I tried again to achieve my goals and therefore the search would have an end and I could finally be happy.
It took me about 25 years to realize that this approach is a naïve foolish way of living.
Don’t get me wrong, the idea is great, American dream like and just something which everyone would like to achieve somehow, but reality is different. Life is not fair and this is not a cry for help nor a pessimistic view of life.
It’s more like a realization that life has so much more to offer and my close-minded self couldn’t see the forest for the trees.
My impression of happiness was to get that girl, score that job position, start that family and build that house, but I didn’t see, that only if I get happy, then I can get all of the other things. Maybe I didn’t want to see it or maybe I am still wrong and in another 25 years I will read this article and think what a moron I was.
Writing the previous paragraph, I had to stop for a second and think. Tell me how is it, that if I really am in need of happiness to achieve all of my goals, I know people who are only complainers or only pessimistic people, but have more or less achieved all of my goals in a faster way.
I mean how comes that the negative complainer I know is in a long lasting relationship getting that job, the money to achieve the next step.
Does that mean, that the negative complainer is actually happier than me and found somebody to complain with? Does it mean that the negative views of a Nazi who is terrorizing the neighbourhood but has a beautiful family at home is a better person than me and therefore deserves all of these good things?
Who did I hurt to not deserve a slice of cake?
Why is the boss of a multimillion-dollar company, who is screwing the secretary and cheating on his wife happier and more blessed than someone who is just on a search for their whole life?
How comes that people who are not able to finish high school, have children in the ripe age of 18 and never really achieving anything much happier than people who are intelligent, but struggling their whole life to find at least a little bit of happiness.
I don’t know the answers to any of these questions.
I can guess that the complainers found each other and complain together in peace and happiness. I would guess that the Nazi was raised wrongly and will face karma soon enough. I would hope that the rich boss will be judged and sentenced as he deserves and I can only wish, that the young parents will be having a healthy and happy family, but where is me in all of this? Where is you? Where is the happiness we seek?
Everyone is on a search… Some might have found what they were looking for. Some might not even give it a second to think about stuff like this and others… well, others might never find peace and happiness.
These are the poorest of us, the saddest examples… But also the strongest ones, who deserve to be praised for their bravery and dedication to go on, no matter what.
Shout out to all of you who are still searching for whatever you are searching…
I am here, I understand, I am one of you, don’t give up, search everywhere and I wish you to find whatever you are looking for.